august 5: day 5

yesterday i got hit on the head. i was demonstrating a posture to one of my students in the lobby of the yoga studio, which is undergoing renovation/expansion. the workers are, of course, not supposed to be working on the lobby when there are people in the lobby, but i'm not "allowed" to ask them to stop, and they had a miscommunication from their foreman. anyway. we are removing all the ceiling tiles, no more dropped ceilings and florescent lights, yay!, so that's what the guy was doing. actually, he was installing the drywall up to the deck on the wall next to my front desk, but had removed the ceiling tiles over the desk. so here i was, demonstrating Triangle, of all things, was down in the posture, turned my head up to look up at my hand, and BLAMMO!! one of the metal supporting braces of the ceiling tiles fell and landed exactly on my eyebrow, exactly on the spot where my brother pushed me into the corner of a table when i was 2; i have a scar. thank god it didn't break the skin. thank god it didn't hit me in the eye. if i had to take a piece of metal to the head, this was the best way to do it. we got ice on it right away, so the bump is now minimal, but i felt a little disoriented and got a headache, and my body is sore from falling - i have no idea how i got out of Triangle. one instant i'm stretching my arms apart while in a deep lunge, the next instant i'm crouched on the floor with my hands on my forehead, and i have no idea what kind of movement i made to get there. it was freaky, scary, it hurt like hell, i still have a headache the next morning, i slept deep and weird and struggled to wake up. but the part that hurt the most was wayne, my boss and my friend, who was having a tough day himself, telling me that he "had no sympathy" for me. i'm still struggling with that, more than anything.

so because of all this, last night i had tahini. i felt like i needed it. i had a spoonful, and then decided i was going to make a tahini dressing. granted, i didn't have all the necessary ingredients, but i made do, and what i made wasn't bad, but i took a few tastes and then threw it all away. instead, i just tahini and celery, plain, and that was fine.

my food preferences have gotten so simple. more than 3 ingredients is just way too complex. i like everything pretty much by itself. and i like everything whirled up into a beverage. i can't stand the thought of eating oil, and i used to eat coconut oil straight up! one of my sweet lovely new friends on raw fu offered me a carob-fudge recipe, which was so nice of her, and i had to (i hope!) politely decline. plain dates are as close to fudge as i'm interested now, and i used to live on fudges - concoctions of different superfood powders and nut butters and agave and whatever else, goji berries and cacao nibs, raisins, whatever. that was my food. now, i haven't touched any of my superfoods in 3 weeks.

ironically, if i were to eat cooked food, i would want oily, greasy, heavy fried cooked food. thank god i don't want cooked food! if cooked food is my ex-boyfriend (my new mantra), then my ex-boyfriend was one slicked-back-hair slimeball!

slowly waking up and getting ready to move on. hope this headache goes away. hope i don't have a big purple bruise on my face. but if i do, i'll take a picture!