july 18: a whole new challenge

i'm having my first food temptation.

due to the persnickety wifi at home, i've come to Whole Foods - i need to do my shopping anyway, and they have free wifi. breakfast tacos and coffee are calling my name! i always think i love the vegan breakfast tacos, with vegan chorizo and tofu scramble and black beans and potatoes and pico de gallo. and everytime i have one, i regret it more than just a little afterwards. it never tastes as good as i want it to, and it always leaves me a little gassy. so why do i want one? to see if i was right the last time? maybe this time it will be as yummy and satisfying as it is in my head? breakfast tacos are a big deal in austin, and i've only found vegan ones at whole foods, so maybe that's it. this is the special place where i can pretend to be normal.

i just don't much like normal.

today is my day off! i'm going to ikea t,o buy some storage furniture for my wee casita, and then going to a play tonight. my first day of socializing. tomorrow night i'm going to a gallery opening and being introduced to a boy. i've only met one boy who found my lifestyle to be "bad-ass" and not in the least intimidating, but he wasn't interested in me "that way." so meeting boys is always a bit of a challenge, too. on RawFu, which is mostly women, they talk about the difficulty of dealing with their husbands and boyfriends, and i can totally honor that - being single does indeed give me the freedom to do exactly as i please without having to take someone else's life into consideration. but it's hard enough meeting someone you like without throwing this monkey wrench into the mix. this is the main reason why i've struggled being 100% raw over the years. the social aspect. i'm already a bit more hermit-like than i like, being new in town and a little poor and a non-smoking, non-drinking type person. most of my friends i think forget that i actually like to go out and enjoy company, because where can you take me? and i of course forget that i have friends that i'd like to go out with. but i would really like to meet a man who thinks i'm plenty hot and tasty just exactly as i am, cellulite and all, and who thinks that my lifestyle is interesting and inspiring without me requiring him to do any of it, unless that becomes his path.

those are today's challenges. yippee!!