over the past 5 1/2 years of experimenting with raw foods, i would guess that 90% of my slips have been prompted by my aching desire to be in a relationship, and so and therefore, to be "date-able." the bloody irony. the only way i feel hot and sexy and beautiful and comfortable and happy in my body is to adopt a lifestyle that ?alienates? me from the entire male population of the united states, statistically speaking. so my dear friend wayne - don't even think of it, wayne's my bro - encouraged me to join in on a free dating site. i was in a good mood, so i figured i'd try it. and it was kinda fun, until i ran across the last guy i went on 3 dates with, someone i REALLY liked and thought had serious potential with, the ONLY guy i've met in 5 1/2 years who wasn't already raw himself who saw my lifestyle as "bad-ass" and interesting, and didn't seem to think that it meant he had to do anything i was doing. and there he is, digging for dates just like me, because... i don't know why, exactly. he never said, just said he was too busy. but i'm thinking it's this huge lifestyle stone around my neck.
i feel so damned if i do, so damned if i don't. i've met raw guys - they tended to either be "raw-er than thou" or "it's all good, it's all love, don't be heavy baby..." or "wow, you're so great, let me tell you about the woman i'm in love with..." or just, well, crazy. and non-raw guys just roll their eyes, pretty much. i can't date my yoga students. and i can't be non-raw, because i'm doing this for myself. i've been single a LONG time. i'm tired of it.
i don't know what to do. i don't know why i haven't met the right guy. i'm tired of trying to figure it out, and i'm tired of being rejected.
i LOVE my raw lifestyle. nothing makes me feel better. i'm just so starved for love and affection - online community is great, but it can't kiss you goodnight or hold your hand.
i'm not going to fall of the wagon this time. i'm holding on.
Snowbird Lifestyle
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Fall is here. The leaves are gorgeous, but the temperature is not!!!
There is already lots of frost every morning. Hot water bottles are my
staples ever...
11 years ago
Although I'm not dating, cause I'm married, I too have felt a lot of the same things you have - but in my relationship with my husband. Lately it has been better, cause he's more interested in the current results I have had, but it still is very difficult. And socially with friends, relatives, and coworkers, it can be difficult too. I'll have to think about this a little more and get back to you. Hang in there...don't give in...don't deny yourself of who you are and who you want to be...we'll have to work on ways to keep it together, and still fill the gap of loneliness...I'm there for you "Sister"! Have a great day tomorrow! :)
ReplyDeleteI hear you. Please don't compromise who you are!!!
ReplyDeleteSomebody will work out....in ways maybe you can't imagine. Who knows, right?
My partner is not raw at all and it's an issue, not b/c I cook tow separate meals all the time and am always tempted and joked about in my home...but oddly it more b/c raw forced me to keep changing up my game in life and hot dogs and coke kinda do a fine job of keeping things just as they are....so I'm curious how my own situation is going to play out----but I do know that I 'll not change what I know to be best for me out of fear.
good luck!!!
we need you!!!!
Here are my thoughts, for whatever they are worth.
ReplyDeleteYou are already "date-able," obviously: You date.
What it sounds like you are saying, really, is that you long to be accepted and loved just as you are, with someone equally acceptable and lovable to you.
But how can anyone ever love and accept you for who you are if you aren't being yourself? If you are not being accepting and loving of yourself? of your ideals? beliefs? etc.
Loneliness sucks.
But changing who you are, or how you are, in order to be more acceptable to a wider selection of men is doomed to fail. At best the person you are trying to entice will discover you to be a fraud when he gets to know you better. Or you'll end up with someone who preys on women with self-esteem issues. Or, worse yet, you turn off the very guys who might genuinely come to love you because you are not being true to yourself.
Loneliness sucks.
But being a sell-out sucks more.
And getting trapped in an unfulfilling relationship with someone who is not a good fit for you--in the name of "it's better than being alone"--sucks even more.
Hold out for what's real, and be willing to live without it indefinitely if settling for less means giving up who you really are, and what's really important to you.
u know what? be yourself. don't even bring raw into it. whose business is it, unless you really get close with someone, and then they won't care because they will already love you. Just tell guys you're "eating whole foods" or something. Dont' get into it with them, even if they seem open and interested. just change the topic. i know raw is an important part of who you are, but it is only ONE part. Show them all parts of you! Raw is not a liability, but if you come on too strong it can be (not saying you are, but when I was a fervent animal rights activist, I can tell you that many guys, once they heard that, were SO out of there..I came on strong..not saying you do just a suggestion.)
ReplyDeleteHang in there rebecca. Be yourself, but don't show your whole hand.