july 27: an observation

i'm still feeling kinda yucky. i'm actually rather emotionally down and sad and tired and short tempered. and i think i know why. i'm not that far off from my prior, 100% raw plan, which was miles from my junk-vegan plan, but what i didn't do yesterday (aside from not having done any yoga for several days now - going to work on my days off turns them rapidly into a day-on which frustrates me), is i did not have my tea yesterday. and not having my tea yesterday means i didn't have either my yerba mate or my agave nectar. i haven't gone without either of those 2 things in over 3 months, probably more like 8 or 9 months. so interesting. i didn't actually intend not to have them, but i didn't, which meant that i didn't want to have them again today. i don't feel quite headachy, but almost. i feel hot and tired and frustrated.

very interesting.

and i'm also kinda frustrated, because i haven't lost any weight since that initial 2lb loss in the first week. i know i know, weight loss happens on its own schedule, but you know... a pound or 2 to say "yippee 811!!!" would be pretty awesome and refreshing. i know it will come. it's only my 4th day, i'm barely at baby steps.

one thing i'm noticing on the raw fu discussion posts is this total clarity about 811, and a real reluctance to answer those posts with 811 answers. i'm too new at it, and a week or 2 ago i would have been answering with "eat nuts! eat avocados!" and now i'm like "eat bananas!" i've been accused (by my brother) as being a self-proslytizer (sp?) and so i'm now really careful not to tell anybody anything they aren't ready to hear. i'm sure i go too far every once in awhile, but i'm very sensitive to it and mortified whenever it happens. it's like that nice nice guy mistaking my enthusiasm and flirtatiousness as "aggressiveness." leaves me mortified and feeling totally stuck.

so i'm trying to be quiet and nice and good. at least for now. at least until i've got 40 days under my belt, maybe a pound or 2 lost by then.