july 22: false body ruminations

been thinking about this a lot today. chatting with sarabethxvx (found out that "xvx" is "straight edge vegan." at least, it is in portland. she joked about changing it to "xrvx" for the raw of us, and i like bexxrvx - i think that looks kinda sexy!)

anyway - false body. a huge amount of my blog time is going to go to this, over the weeks. here's the theory:

consuming cooked, dead, denatured, artificial foods creates a cooked, dead, denatured, artificial body. the more artificial our foods, the more artificial our bodies. to the point where IT DOESN'T MATTER what these bodies look like. they can look "perfect" to whatever cultural standard we want a body to look like. they can look supermodel/movie star perfect, a body that could earn millions of dollars just to have its picture taken. but if that body was created by artificial, cooked, dead means, by pharmeceuticals and steroids, by starvation, by binge-purge methods, by fake chemical concoctions, whatever - the person living in that perfect body has a false body to deal with. the perfect body can be as absolutely FALSE and fake and hideous as can an obese and diseased body.

size doesn't matter when you're dealing with the false body. i can be my size or smaller, and if i'm not living in my authentic body, i'm going to HATE the one i've got. PERIOD. full stop.

so please don't think, "oh, if only i looked like you!" or "hell, if i had your body, i'd take it out on the town!" my small false body is as suffocating as someone else's large one, with only the exception that it is more socially acceptable.

and here's a catch. small chicks are supposed to hate their bodies. we're not supposed to love our shape. we're supposed to be in constant fine-tuning mode, usually by artificial means. this is a false body game. the false body is impossible to love.

so what i'm doing with raw food - i'm destroying my false body. and the false ego that's attached to it. i'm deflating it, getting rid of it, passing it along. i have no idea what my authentic, true, alive body looks like! i want to find out.

in the meantime, i'm looking at this false body, this artificial vehicle. i'm looking at it and examining it and i'm not hiding from it. and i'm letting you and everyone else see it. because the emporer has no clothes - we're all totally naked to each other. i can see your false body, and i can see you who dwell in it. you're gorgeous, even if your false body isn't.